I think everything is fine, I look fine. Most of the time. I could be 150. Oh but Im not!

Here's my difference though: every once in a while I see just how fat I am in a window Im walking past or in someones eyes who think's Im disgusting or when I have to do something that makes me uncomfortable like visiting almost in-laws!

All of a sudden I come crashing down real real low and realize how horrible things have gotten.

I do my best to scramble out of that position however because I realize it is usually self deflating.

Sometimes it has been good to go that low though, to actually see the fat.

It's the reason Im here, desperate enough to put the truthful stats in my bio. Desperate enough to give up ice cream!!!

Im ready to loose the weight, Im ready to eat low carb for life if thats what it takes.

Body image is crazy. Love you guys and and the abilities to be thruthful in here. I spend so much of my life pretending that everythings ok, that Im normal when I all I really want is to go for a run with my freinds or shop in the normal stores!

Kellser.