Personally, I think it's an excellent idea. The most important thing would be to offer continued support, not just a flood of empathy and then no further contact.

I've been sitting here wondering how I would've reacted if someone had done it for me, and I'm honestly not sure. She might tell you to go to H*** or she might cry and placate you into believing that she wants to change. She may take a genuine interest and make changes....it's really hard to say. Maybe share your story in person, rather than writing a letter, unless you're too far away and give her some options and talk with her about them.

Find out what SHE wants (what a concept...took me a long time to learn it too!) It certainly couldn't hurt....the worst thing you can do to a problem...or a child with one, is to ignore them. Think it through and follow your heart. Good luck and keep us posted!

Nicole