hi Rae,

oh boy...i can so relate to where you are at. In fact I did all the things you talk about.

I started out around the same weight as you are currently...but 11 months later I am a normal sized person ( with still some fat to lose) and none of those old paranoia's remain.

You have found a great new way of eating that will serve you for the rest of your life if you let it. Take it one day at a time and before you know it, it will all be second nature.

it won't happen immediately but rest assured it will happen if you stick at it.

Good luck...you can do this

lesley