This is an email I sent to a few of my friends regarding my attempts to work out. And lest I be taken to task for slamming blondes, let me assure one and all that I am referring exclusively to myself!
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Why Blondes Don't Work Out More


*Friday carefully packs her workout gear into her gym bag: lock, sweat pants and T-shirt, socks, sneakers, water bottle*

*rummages amonst odds and ends until she finds her gym id, then carefully places said ID in plastic protector and attaches unit to her key ring*

*proudly places gear in trunk of car and goes to work*

*finishes work, gathers wallet, coffee cup and briefcase and heads for car*

*gets to car, returns to office for car keys*

*finds keys in bottom of desk drawer and returns to car*

*drives to gym*

*opens trunk and looks at lock attached to gymbag*

*wonders what the combination is*

*tries old phone numbers for 5 minutes until lock opens*

*puts lock in her wallet so she won't lose it, gathers essentials and heads into gym*

*happily presents gym membership card that she made a special point of remembering and goes to locker room*

*tosses gym clothes on bench and removes favorite kelly-green suede loafers*

*looks at pile of clothing and notices she's forgotten her towel*

*considers paying $3 for gym towel but decides against it*

*looks at pile of clothing in gym bag and wonders where lock is*

*searches in pile for lock but does not find it*

*puts on favorite kelly green suede loafers and goes back to car, taking water bottle and gym bag with her*

*opens car, tosses gym bag and water bottle on passenger seat and searches for lock*

*searches some more, finally noticing that her wallet has an odd-shaped bulge*

*opens wallet and finds lock she put there less than 10 minutes ago*

*gathers gym bag, wallet and ID and returns to gym*

*shows gym ID that she specifically remembered to bring and returns to locker room*

*tosses clothing on bench, noticing that it sounded much louder last time she did that*

*looks for water bottle*

*returns to car for water bottle*

*returns to gym and shows gym ID that she specifically remembered to bring. Wonders if staff knows her name yet....*

*throws clothing and water bottle on bench*

*removes favorite kelly green suede loafers and puts them in locker*

*removes jeans and sits on bench to put socks on*

*notices that black dye from inside favorite kelly green suede laofers has stained the soles of her feet deep black and wonders if it will come off on her socks*

*puts socks on anyways*

*puts on left sneaker and ties it*

*puts on right sneaker and as she ties it, notices sweatpants sitting on bench*

sigh!!

Cheers,

Friday