I go through horrible depression spells. I cry myself to sleep, and think of all the things that I don't have, or things that should be and aren't. It is horrible that we put ourselves through such assult.

I have found something that is helpful for those times I don't even want to get out of bed, and it is this. I allow myself to cry, and I say to myself...I feel like S&#~. I don't want to feel this way anymore, and I sit down and write out a plan. I have so many plans written, It is ridiculous. Some repeat each other, but it helps to put my anger at myself, into action to stop being what I am so mad at.

I read what I have written and force myself to say something nice about myself. "I have pretty eyes"...I have a boyfriend who loves me....anything...I say it over and over until I get out of bed, and do one thing that will work to change me. Eat a healthy meal, go to the gym.

I take it one act at a time, and force myself to do it.