I feel incredibly sad. Some incredibly difficult emotions that I struggled with, albeit a very long time ago, have been triggered and brought to the surface again.

I watched the Oprah Winfrey show. This show was aired in the US sometime in March but in UK it was aired today. She was interviewing Rusty Yates, the husband of Andrea Yates who has been found to be mentally ill but responsible for the murder of her five children. She had support from Rusty and her mother, Dora. She had suffered post-partum depression after the birth of her fourth child, Luke. She was suffering from post-partum depression again after the birth of her fifth child, Mary. The doctors had put her on drugs for psychosis and anti-depressants. She was then taken off the drugs for psychosis and deemed fit enough to be discharged from hospital. She loved her children. Despite all the support her family gave her, she drowned her five children and has been found guilty of their murder.

Was she responsible? Did the doctors who treated her help her or make her condition worse? Is it fair to judge the family (Rusty or Dora)? Is the support system for people suffering depression “caring” enough? Are the mentally ill listened to? Is the public too ready to condemn people suffering depression. Are we realistic about the responsibilities we place upon the shoulders of someone suffering from depression?

These are all questions that I have struggled with since my teens. I did take anti-depressants in the 1970s. By mid-70s I had decided that the drugs were not doing me any good – if anything they were making me worse. It took me another couple of years to get myself off them. Since then, I have determinedly and stubbornly refused to take anti-depressants. Listening to Oprah and her guests today I feel soooo glad that I made that choice all those years ago. However the case has helped trigger off the rage, total isolation, despair, helplessness, inability to understand what was happening to me, guilt for letting my family down, self-recrimination etc that I went through at the time. These emotions still haunt me - at times more than at others. What do people here feel: about antidepressants, about the questions that the show once again brought to the fore?

I suffered from mood-swings after I came off the anti-depressants but it is only since I started Low-carbing I finally feel in control and believe my depression is a part of my past.

Take Loving Accepting Inclusive Care.