I grew up in Tennessee, in the country, as a Baptist. The Baptist church played a very important part in my life. It was through the church that I was able to feel attached and cared for. Everything happened with the people at church. For that I feel great gratitude.

However, as I approached adulthood, I became angry with God. I felt betrayed; if there was a god, then, I didn't want to know him/her. I felt god had played a cruel joke on me by placing me in such an abusive and chaotic family.

Then, I took an astronomy class at University of Michigan. I was overwhelmed by the massiveness of the universe. Then, I knew for sure that life as presented in the Baptist Church could not have meaning.

I know what you mean by the singing. I was always moved deeply by the songs of the church. I felt so close to god during the songs.

I rebelled against god for many years. Then, I heard about Marianne Williamson's book, A Return to Love, about 10 years ago. It took me 6 mos. to pick it up; I was embarassed to look at a book that had god and Jesus in it.

Then a friend talked to me about A Course in Miracles. Again, I was embarassed that he was talking about Jesus in public.

Somewhere along the line, I fell to my knees and rekindled my loving relationship with a power much greater than me. I am comfortable saying God, Jesus, or whatever. I know where to go every day and I know where to go when I need help.

Thanks for sharing. Thanks also for your involvement in Vietnam. My brothers were there and my friend died there at age 19. I am sorry for the treatment that all of you received when you returned home. It was inexcusable.

I salute your ability to forgive and to persevere.