Laying the blame on society only goes so far. At some point I knew enough to know that what I was doing was bad - and yet I kept on doing it. Which drives home the point in your second paragraph - once I knew better I failed to do better. And for that I bear guilt and responsibility - and I have paid quite a price for it over the last fifteen years.

But those mistakes are in the past and I can do nothing about them but accept the consequences, learn from them and move on. So now I have learned even more and, more importantly, made major shifts in my priorities and my mindset and so now I AM doing better.

And, as you say, that's what really matters.