Thank you dizzyd and wbahn for caring but i have heard it all, read it all, and experienced it all..or most of it all..eating disorders and the right normal weight and such..

But I've been going through this 'phase' of mine for a long time and came to terms that I will never be happy until i have reached my goal..or at least near it. I've tried to be happy with who I am, but i've realized I can never accept the reality of it, therefore I am finally doing something to change it.

May I add that I am asian and my family is very critical. I got sick of the constant comments about my weight and i hated being targeted in the family. The weird thing is that my dad is a bit overweight, my mom weighs more than me and a little shorter than me, and the other members are not even skinny, yet they constantly target me as the fat one.

It is not my friends that led me into this path, it is mostly my family, people who i have to always be around and successfully and permanently planted the image of me as -fat-

I will stop whining now..
Besides, I'm kinda going off topic