A long time ago I read a book that coined the word "bemazement"--a combination of being bemused and amazed at the same time. That's what joining the gym has been for me. I have been sedentary all my life (well, except for walking), and up until a few weeks ago I would no more have walked into a gym than into ... well, I can't think of anything I would have avoided (though the time I had to sell cards at a bingo hall for charity was pretty close to hell).

At the end of January I started low-carbing seriously again after a stall that turned into a slump (occasional, but controlled high carb eating) that turned into a four-week off-the-wagon binge. Suddenly, I had that "so damn good" feeling of well-being that I had lost. Riding high on that, and an initial weight loss, I asked Ardith, a co-worker who goes to the gym for weight training, to tell me all about it. It's part of a local chain and a couple of blocks from my office. It sounded pretty non-threatening (Ardith is no sylph, and she is delightfully unconcerned about how she looks). So, one Friday a month ago, I asked her to take me there. She suggested I get some good shoes, and then she made an appointment for me.

I think I stopped feeling self-conscious about 10 minutes after signing up. People who go to this gym are on their lunch hours or on their way home after work; they're focused, and they don't pay much attention to anyone else. I also spotted two or three "people of size," which helped.

Part of the package (which is very reasonable, because my employer has a special rate of $38 a month) are five half-hour sessions with a trainer. The first trainer, who showed me the cardio equipment was pleasant enough. The next one showed me how to use the Keiser weight-training machines on one day and set my weights the next. I was so impressed by her. She's not super warm, but she's careful. I dislocated a shoulder last August and she immediately spotted how it affected the way I did one excercise and lowered the weight. I decided that paying for a one-hour session with her every couple of weeks would be a good thing.

So far it's working out great. I've been doing really well at getting to the gym three times a week (2 days of weights and one of cardio, with abdominal exercises and stretching). I feel wonderful. I am bemazed that an overweight 51-year-old woman should be so comfortable about doing this.

I realized that keeping this log will help me to keep track of my progress and help to remember these first steps when I am further along on my voyage.

Susan