Ok, that is how I felt this morning when I stepped on the scale. I am up 10 freakin' pounds from 4 weeks ago. I know I was way off track over Thanksgiving, but do I really deserve a 10# gain?!?!?!!?

My goal for today is to work my butt off, literally. When I saw the scale I got hit by my usual "fight or flight" pattern that always strikes when I am hit with a weight gain. I either want to "$crew it and eat everything in sight" OR "hit the work outs with a vengence". I am relieved to say today is a "hit the work out day".

Today's goals:
30 min Step and Sculpt *
*Not one bit of altering.
45 min DA UFB
45 min The Firm*
*I tried this, and it was killing my knees. Did about 20 min. How disgusted am I?
8 Min Abs *
*Did at 1/2 capacity again, but I did all of it. At least it gets me in the habit and I will work my way upward.

I figure I am home all day, nothing else to do but clean the house (and play with Nick when he's awake), and spread out over about 11 hours, it's not that much. And most important, it makes me feel better.


All through my wo all I can think is how much easier this would be if I weren't literally lugging 100# of fat through the air. How many times in my life have I lost this weight...only to regain it. This time I swear, SWEAR, it's for good. I feel like my fat is running my life. How much of my time is spent to worrying about my weight, what I will wear, embarrassing dh because I look so awful, and Zack too as he gets older....My weight has been dictating far too much of my life for far too long.