That I despise my appearance does not mean that I despise myself. It is far too easy to equate appearance with the sum total of a person's worth, when it is really just one attribute among many. Our society - and virtually every society, past, present, and almost certainly future - makes it easy to fall into this trap. But falling prey to society's twisted values is a choice we make.

Just as it is not good for someone that's beautiful to think they should be treated special just because they are beautiful, and just as it is not good for someone that is ugly to hate themselves just for being ugly, I also believe that it is not good for people to adopt the, "I'm beautiful however I look." attitude because it is nothing more than a continuation of the process of equating appearance with worth.

Should someone who can't carry a tune to save their life assert that everyone has a lovely signing voice, themselves included?

Should someone that can't play basketball tell themselves that, deep down, everyone is a star athlete?

Denying reality doesn't change it!

I think the most valuable lesson I have learned in my entire life is to try to truly live by that corny old prayer:

Grant me the courage the change that which I can, the serenity to accept that which I cannot, and the wisdom to tell the difference.

I've never been handsome and never will be handsome. That's the way it is. Getting depressed about it and wallowing in self-hate about it is not going to change that and is therefore a waste of my time.

I can change my weight and my appearance for the better and am doing so-so in those attempts. I try to find the courage to do better. That fact that I have not done better in the past is regrettable, but is also one of the things that I can not change.

I am practically bald. I would like to have a full head of hair. I don't. But having a hairy head or not has nothing to do with who I am - no matter what all the hair-growth commercials claim. I have no need or desire to spend lots of money, time, and effort trying to regain a bunch of hair on my scalp in order to improve my self-confidence. It won't work, because my self-worth has nothing to do with how much hair is up there. If there are people who want to think less of me because I have little hair, that's their problem. It tells me far more about them than it tells me about myself.