You know today I am feeling the same way. I have been eating nonstop for weeks...whatever I want...whenever I want... Just numbing myself to the pain that I am feeling. I think you are right that Dr. Phil has someof the answers. For example, I can remember my food numbing beginning at age 12 when my father died... It was horrific for me and I gained a lot of weight...thus...my diet whoas began when I was put on a medically supervised diet by my doctor later that year.

It's hard, especially at night. I am also currently disabled and having a difficult time dealing with it. I want my life back and seem unable to make it happen. I have an 8 year old daughter who is suffeirng right along with me... We never do anything, except lately I have started to go back to church..albeit extremely difficult. With the self-loathing and paranoia...and anxiety attacks I sometimes wonder whether or not I'm going to every be happy again... Somehow I want to make it happen..soon... I know that part a me feels like everything will fall into place once I lose the weight, but deep down I wonder to I want the weight to go or is it a safety blanket. Well thanks for letting me run on...

TJ