Posted on Wed, May. 26, 2004

NICHOLAS BOER: FREE RANGE

Caught in the low-carb trap? Bite back

http://www.contracostatimes.com/mld.../8763348.htm?1c

CALLIE WAS hit by a car last week while chasing a deer. She has been following Atkins ever since.

Mornings used to start with a pile of kibble, but now she waits for her buttery scrambled eggs. Monterey Jack snacks have replaced biscuits (better to hide those pain pills), and her daily Greenie -- a chlorophyll-colored "bone" -- has turned into cottage cheese (easier on those sore teeth).

This high-protein, low-exercise lifestyle is now right in line with that of many Americans ---- with one significant difference.

Callie's not counting carbs.

One night Callie got her very own cheeseburger and she wolfed it down, bun and all (she ate it like an Oreo: The middle went first).

Sunday I cooked up Krusteaz's new low-carb pancakes. I love Krusteaz pancakes, but this new formula was terrible.

Callie did eat a small piece, but only after spitting it out and staring at if for a while.

The Krusteaz press release is titled Bake and Switch -- which should tell you something right there.

"No consumer should have to choose between good flavor and fewer carbs," says the company's CEO, "so we created CarbSimple to satisfy both needs."

Ha! (Sure it will cut down on your carbs -- you won't want to eat it.)

There may come a day when science can come up with tasty low-carb baked goods, but that day is not yet here.

In the meantime, food companies have cashed in by turning the carb into public enemy No. 1. The War on Carbs has become a money-making machine.

Inevitably, I suppose, Low Carb Living magazine has now made its debut -- full of familiar products reintroduced as low carb: Bacardi rum, Jell-O and Cool Whip among them.

Then there are the reformulated favorites -- witness Hershey's 1 gram sugar carb bars.

Can low-carb Matzo Meal and communion wafers be far off?

It's time to bite back.

Listening to the advertisers -- and dutifully counting carbs -- is no way to diet. We need to take a lesson from Callie: Trust our tastes and instincts. Then we can turn our shopping list over to a higher power.

So, if you've hit bottom; if you've stooped to eating imitation cake mix for breakfast, perhaps it's time to surrender. To help, Callie and I have come up with a program based on the 12-steps of Alcoholics Anonymous to see you through.

Follow them thoroughly. Half-measures will avail you nothing. If you need a sponsor, ask your dog.

1. We admitted we are powerless over marketing -- that paid promises are inedible.

2. We came to believe that eating unprocessed foods could restore faith in our intestines.

3. We made a decision to use our willpower to overcome come-ons.

4. Kept track of everything we normally eat for a week.

5. Admitted to Mom, to ourselves and to a family pet the exact composition of our meals.

6. Were entirely ready to remove those harmful foods from our car, home and workplace.

7. We humbly asked our dog to eat any leftovers.

8. We made a list of all the healthful foods that we like and became willing to eat them all.

9. We made direct purchases of said foods wherever and whenever possible, except when to do so would tempt us into a fourth meal.

10. We continued to keep track of our daily intake and when we blew it, promptly admitted it.

11. We sought through care and innovation to improve our understanding of nutrition, seeking out healthful foods and recognizing how they make us feel and think.

12. Having had a physical awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others and practice eating pineapple instead of eclairs.


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Reach Times Food editor Nicholas Boer at 925-943-8254 or nboer~cctimes.com.