I was a skinny kid and people were always pointing that out. "You are sooooooo skinny". "Don't you eat?"

Until puberty hit while I was going to high school with thousands of new faces- I am very shy. I ate lunch in the cafeteria everyday; hot dogs and hamburgers and chips. The weight came on...
Nobody commented on my weight any more.

I have gone thru times when I hardly ate anything (nothing appealed to me) in high school- got skinny again in grade 11 and 12 by basically starving to death. To times where I just ate everything I wanted whenever I wanted - like this past winter.

I had a new boyfriend who liked to watch videos and eat choclate bars and chips (hes skinny) and he kept bringing choclate for me - I think he was hoping I would stay fat and never leave him. WRONG!!! I dumped him and am back on Atkins and down 4 lbs in 11 days.

I do not want to relapse on Atkins again. I won't be at goal weight for this summers beach days, but I will next summer. I have goals that are atainable.

I think you have to change to tapes that play in your head to new ones that tell you how great you are and how much good you are doing for your health. I do not want my daughter to have food related issues like I did, so I want to fix this before she gets too much older and starts to clue in about kids in grade 7 on diets ( crazy stuff!). I also don't want to be a fat mom- and a possible embarassment to her.
I also realize that over the years I thought I was fatter than I really am. Now that I have acheived the highest weight in my whole life, I can see that even when I was much slimmer I still thought I was fat (more likely chubby) which set me up for yo-yo dieting and the dreaded low fat diets that so did not help. I have years of programming to fix and losing the weight and learning to eat healthy food for life will go a long way for me.

Mae