You know, I understand how you feel. Twenty years ago I lost 120 lbs. I did not noticed the change, as like you said, you still feel fat. The only time I noticed the change is when I went and had a photo taken for the university. At that moment I realized that there was a different person in front of me. It it difficult to accept all the changes, especially if you have been overweight all your life. I of course, went back and gained all that weight back plus added more. I am now trying to lose it again, although this time is more difficult.

I think you are depressed now and need to take care of that depression. You also need to accept yourself and realize that not everyone can do what you have just done. It is a great accomplishment and you need to give yourself credit for that.

I know that I did not appreciate what I did then, but this time, I am going to appreciate it a lot and I am not going to allow myself get fat again. The brain is something very interesting and right now it is not working for you. It wants you back the way you were. Please do not allow it to win. I am sure that you feel better now and more healthy, able to do things you were not able to do before. Enjoy the new you, take care of your depression and accept yourself.

I hope my words can bring some relieve.