I see you point not to tie all your life to "when I'm thin".. Kind of the same as my sister, who wouldn't even buy a house because "What if I meet someone who wants to move someday?" I've certainly not put my life on hold, which I believe is your main point.

I was just trying to point out that my weight gain is inextricably tied to my emotional "issues". I have white-knuckled it in the past and lost a LOT of weight....over and over and over......because I didn't "get" the connection. Just because I didn't see it, and could lose weight without HAVING to look at it, doesn't mean (for ME) that I could keep the old patterns from intruding and ALL the weight came right back on.