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Old Sun, Nov-11-01, 20:18
Andy Davies Andy Davies is offline
Senior Member
Posts: 1,212
 
Plan: My own (based on a compil
Stats: 333/260/224 Male 73 ins
BF:
Progress: 67%
Location: Hampshire, England
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Hi all.

Alto, I've felt a bit the same in the past. Gradually, though, I have come round to see it as Doreen and Karen do. It may be that for me the difference came when I started thinking of this forum as a kind of family. I have a family of my own, so it's an easy analogy for me to relate to, but to give some perspective of what I mean by it so that you can understand it, I have children who sometimes drive me mad with their childish twittering. But I still have to continue communicating with them and inspiring them and making them think. And you know, this forum is not so very different. One way in which you can effectively change the behaviour of others is by example. I do it at home. I do it here, though not always as consciously (i.e. deliberately). The crux of it is that you never know which of your words will help, support, inspire (or conversely, offend) someone, so all you can do is offer such words of encouragement as you feel comfortable and genuine about giving. Having done that, you have to accept that many people will accept what suits or seems right for them, and disregard what does not apply. But - and this is the nub of it - you are not just writing for one person, whoever you address your remarks to. Someone else may feel exactly the same way you do, and never even let you know they have seen the message. You may inspire or motivate someone you don't even know about, or give that little explanation which finally helps a person to understand something 3 months after you wrote it. so I for one am in favour of posting everything publicly. As for the main gist of your message, that shallow messages of encouragement are rather fatuous, and take up unnecessary space, there comes a time when you welcome even the shallowest message. I did not think, 9 months ago when I joined this forum, that I would ever say that. But I now realise that each of us sometimes go through patches when the familiarand encouraging - and yes even the silly - remarks you get from this supporting LC family do make a difference. If you do not yet feel this way, I say be patient, you may yet have cause to be grateful to someone for their support. And maybe we should bear one more thing in mind. We are lucky, because we are articulate. Others may not all have such a range of communication skills as we do, but still want to convey their genuine feelings of concern or exultation. And I am not going to say they have any the less right to do so. Hope this does not sound too much like a lecture, it is not meant to. But it's late at night here, and I'm tired. In such situations, I have been known to come over as more abrupt or hectoring than I mean to, and if this applies now, then please forgive me for it. I'm off to my bed, and it's very overdue!

Best wishes,

Andy
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