This thread has brought to mind something that I have been thinking about quite a bit lately. That is, the self esteem benefits of being, or having been pretty fat. I can honestly say that I still feel pretty fat, I'm not past the point in my loss where I can say that I am not fat yet. I hope to be there some day. However, I think that when I do get there, I will have a different perspective of myself at goal weight than someone else may have who has never experienced life at more than 100 lbs over weight.

I think there are things that people take for granted every day that I couldn't and still can't. I almost had an all out panic attack when I had to get on a plane (type of plane I hadn't been on before, didn't know the seat sizes and plane layout) and wasn't sure if I would fit, or force the passenger unfortunate enough to be sitting next to me out the emergency exit, inch by inch....

As an adult I have never gone on an amusement park ride and right now if my son was older and said "mommy come with me" I would have to say no.

I have never been to Mexico, Cuba or other hot spot because I am scared of the plane situation and then scared of what I would do while there, like bathing suit, yeah right...

I don't ride horses, I certainly don't waterski or downhill ski.

At this weight, I am not all of the person I can be in this world. I would trade that all in, for the freedom to never worry about any of that again, even if I had to carry my loose skin around in a wheelbarrow. (as long as the wheel barrow was allowed on the roller coaster with me and my son! )

Cheers,

Mari