Hey, you guys! Listen up!

I just read an article written by Bob Greene (or at least it was said to be his plan) -- you know, Oprah's personal trainer? In it is this sentence:

Without carbohydrates, your brain won't function.

Well geezum crow! Now doesn't that explain a lot!?!?!? You guys, we've been cutting down on carbs, which makes our brains not function. So no wonder we're sometimes confused about what to do. OUR BRAINS AREN'T FUNCTIONING!

Gee, thanks, Bob, for clearing that up for us.