Zymi,

I have noticed that eating gave me that feeling of numbness too. It was an important thing for me, tuning out as I called it, just not having to be too present. I know I needed to tune out to avoid the pain that being morbidly obese created in my life, the loneliness, the self-hate, the feelings of unattractiveness. Zoning out has been away to avoid thinking about my obesity, to avoid the negative self talk that comes with being obese. But then if I need that comfort of tuning out, how do I get it if I'm not eating? Because that pain hasn't gone away completely yet.

So, I have a couple of tools that I have gravitated to this time around. TV & the internet. I watch a fair bit of TV and I spend alot of time on the internet, mostly low-carb support boards, keeping myself focused on how important it is to succeed this time. I do kind of zone out still when I do these activities, and for me, that's okay. I know these aren't the ideal ways to deal with the situation, but it's a temporary measure to get me from point A to point B.

I've done years of therapy, dealt with the majority of my low self-esteem issues and with the exception of the feelings around the weight, consider myself to be a pretty emotionally healthy person. So I think as I lose the weight and have less reason to put myself down when I look in the mirror, the need to avoid those feelings (and the actual feelings themselves) will gradually disappear.

Don't know if this helps at all, it's just what has happened for me.

Valerie