I don't think you're alone. My out of control sugar and carb intake prompted me to do some similar "crazy" things. I laughed over my tears when I read about you ordering two drinks at the drive thru for the "other person." I have been known to do something similar.

I think that there are a lot of us out there who really don't eat more than thin people, but there are also a lot of us who are conditioned to put up that response as a defense technique. I know when I was out with anyone other than my family (who are all also overweight) I would only eat as much as anyone else at the table. Sometimes I became obsessed with eating less than my tablemates. In cases like ours, I really believe food has become a shameful addiction, and we try to cover it by telling others and ourselves that we don't eat THAT much. It is similar to alcoholism. I can easily imagine an alcoholic going into a liquor store and buying tons of liquor "for a party" in the same way that you or I might stock up on cheeseburgers "for the kids." You are definitely not alone, although I think it might just be one of the hardest things for some of us to admit. For years I believed I was the victim of some cosmic unfairness while unconsciously stuffing my face with 99 cent hamburgers. I too have rearranged candy bowls so it looks as if I haven't dug quite so deeply into them.

.....

I realize this is quite a rambling response. I wanted to let you know that you are by no means along, and to tell you that I think it took great courage and honesty to post what you did. Thank you.


Birdgirl