Kat - In re-reading my post I didn't say that I would support you anyway I truly understand your frustration. Let me share my story with you. I have been overweight my entire life. I was the fat kid, the kid everyone said "you have such a pretty face....if only you lost some weight". I started my cycle of yo yo dieting at the early age of 10, I would lose then gain it right back. I am also short barely 5 feet tall. At 14 I was busting out of my womens size 16 pants and wieghed 164 pounds. Being short it is like someone 5'5 weighing over 200 pounds. I put myself on a diet vowing to lose 20 pounds before Jr high graduation and I did. I ate one meal a day, salad, roll, baked chicken and lost. I kept losing after that and by my 16th birthday I was a size 5-7. I also found drugs, diet pills and everytime I started to gain I took the pills. After a very bad time in life involving heavy drug use, I went clean at the ripe old age of 19. I went back to school and also to eating. The weight started creeping back on. At 20 I decided to join the Air Force, best decision I ever made. I was close to my max weight at 128 and had to watch it. I left for basic training at 126.5 and left at 105 pounds. I could never maintain this weight and it slowly crept back up to 115 and I got married. My weight yo yo'd for the next seven years but being active duty I had to keep it under 135. I got out in 91 weighing 127 and wearing a size 9. Over the next few years the weight came back on and in 1995 I went to the doctor and wieghed 162, more than when I delivered my DD and knew I needed to do something about it. I came to the understanding that I will NEVER be able to eat at will and will always have to watch what I eat...a painful but enlightening discovery. I went low fat, low cal with a reward meal once a week. Started exercising and dropped 1 size in three weeks (Jun 95) and by that september was back in a size 10. I managed to maintain that weight until January of 98 when I quit smoking. By March I had gained 30 pounds! I started exercising because that always worked before and...nothing! Just kept gaining until I hit 175 the following January for a gain of 45 pounds in one year. I joined a WW support group and just couldn't seem to lose. By spring I started taking metabolife. At first it didn't work at all. I didn't lose anything. Then things started going really bad in my life , my first marriage fell apart and I lost about 20 pounds. The only sucessful weight loss I had was lowering my calories to 800-1000 which was not sustainable for any length of time. I met my DH in the summer of 2001 at 145 pounds and a size 12. He kept feeding me so my weight slowly creeped back to size 14. I joined a gym in Nov 01 and worked out faithfully and I also gave up metabolife. In the next 6 months I gained and was back to a size 16. Nothing seemed to work and by the time I got married in December I was back to 175 and wore a size 18 when I was married. I started Atkins in January 03 thinking it was the answer to my prayers. I struggled to lose even on Atkins. I initally lost 4 pounds after 3 weeks of induction and then lost nothing but was losing inches. By March I wasn't losing anything and decided to switch to PP. After some tweaking I finally started losing and by July was down to 153 and a size 12. Dropping calories helped me to lose. I gained 5 pounds between Oct - January mainly from my 'reward meals' getting out of hand. In January I cut out the rewards but didn't lose any of the weight I gained so in February I went back on very strict induction and lost the 5 pounds in about 3 weeks. I know that I will continue to struggle for the rest of my life to keep my weight down and that I always have to watch everything I eat. So see, I know your frustration