Thanks to all who have replied because you have helped so much on what I've been thinking about.

See. I've been skinny MOST of my life. Things REALLY spun out of control during "INFERTILITY" up to my first pregnancy. But my whole life I've had ISSUES with food. I always knew there was a beast within. I had to constantly watch my weight and what I ate. And I did it! But there was nothing NATURAL about it. Watching what I ate was part of my everyday life. I wouldn't call me a hard-core bulimic or anorexic, however, I would say I dabbled with both.

So really my relationship with food wasn't all that normal when I was skinny! But no matter what the emotional issue...It was more important for me to stay SKINNY than to blow up and let myself get FAT as I have. So my question is what has led me here? When did I say...it's okay to be 250 pounds? Because it's not okay!!!! What was my payoff as Dr. Phil says?

I found some general guidelines on re-thinking weightloss that come from Dr. Phil on: http://www.oprah.com/health/omag/he...hilweight.jhtml

They are:

Step One: Take Ownership of Your Reactions
Step Two: Resolve Life's Problems
Step Three: Decelerate Your Thinking
Step Four: Challenge Your Thoughts
Step Five: Gain Closure
Step Six: Learn to Forgive
Step Seven: Cope Without Food

I'm definitely buying the Dr. Phil book! Thanks for the recommendation on that one. Because FOR ME, I have to work out the Why's so I can stay on track and so that I can keep the weight off later! So that I can have a normal relationship with FOOD for a change. I want to be successful NOW AND FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. I've got the plan...atkins. Now I need the mindset.

One of my favorite motivational speakers is "Zig Ziggler". Anyone know him? One of my favorite quotes by him is...

You are who you are because of what has gone into your mind. You can change who you are by changing what goes into your mind.

I believe our minds are where our successes begin and end. Once we have it squared away there (our mind), the rest is easy. Prayer helps keep my mind on course that way. Because in the morning, afternoon and evening I'm praying for help. I always have more success dieting when I pray for help.

I DEFINITELY think most of us need to work on our minds and our bodies! I definitely believe this is a physical, emotional and spiritual journey that has the potential to bring us all to a higher level of thinking, living and feeling. And I think in the end we will all end up happier people.