That's right! So you almost married this man who hurt you... I know it's hard to see it now, but you are fortunate you didn't tie the knot. I almost married someone once who treated me poorly too, and I understand now it isn't really possible to love someone who does that. In the end you can only resent them for it.

Sometimes when allow ourselves to be involved with people who do that to us, we help them out by treating ourselves poorly. And of course nothing improves for it. So take care of yourself, 'cause he sure won't, and don't abuse your body as a way of getting through or distracting yourself from any emotional pain. This too shall pass! and you will be strong and full of self respect!