OK, I've been chewing over this one for a couple of days now, because I've been on both ends of the spectrum -- I'm 5'5", and I've gone from obese at 210 lbs to slim at 130 lbs. I've been frustrated to hear my slimmer friends talk about how they need to lose weight, or how they're not happy with their bodies, but now that I'm the skinny one, I'm tempted to do the same thing, and constantly afraid of saying something insulting. I get squirmy every time the conversation turns to food, exercise, diets, shopping, clothing, body image, or similar subjects, because I basically just have to keep my mouth shut. If I say anything that implies I'm still regarding my own body as a work-in-progress, it's taken as implicit criticism of them, but it's not like I can just yak about how easy it is to find clothes in size 4, or how I'm changing my workout focus from fat loss to muscle definition, or how great maintenance eating is, or how great I think I look. I have had people who don't know about my weight loss become downright hostile because I've said something about being on Atkins or knowing what it's like to watch my eating. Diane, I really do understand where you're coming from, but sometimes it feels like that sentiment translates to "just shut up".

Like others have said above, I really don't regard my heavier friends' appearances as gross, and I'm a lot more generous about other people's bodies than my own. I'm body-dysmorphic and perfectionist, but that only applies to the way I see myself, not to others. When I look in the mirror, I'm probably always going to see the flaws in my own body, real or imagined. but if I say anything about them, it's seen as insensitive. I realize the mode of expression counts for something, and that it's less annoying for me to say, "I think my thighs are still too big", than "I am a fat cow with thunder-thighs". However, some people are still going to take it wrong regardless of how I say it, and wonder what I must think of their thighs. What, exactly, am I supposed to do? Not say anything at all, for fear of hurting someone's feelings?

I'm willing to just avoid the topics of weight loss and body image entirely with my friends, because there is a lot more to our relationships than weight-related subjects. But this board is for weight loss support, and that includes those who only have a little extra weight, or those of us who are pretty much at goal. Yes, many people with more to lose find that frustrating, but that's why the Triple Digits Club is set aside specifically to be a more understanding and supportive environment. I think it's fine to encourage people to exercise tact in their phrasing, but if it bothers you just to see relatively thin people wanting to lose more weight, it might be best to avoid such posts/areas, rather than implying that the thin people need to quit their whining and go away.