Keli,

Problems like yours can be very, very frustrating, I know. Take this advice for what it's worth, namely, my two cents and nothing more. Having been married for about a hundred years, I can tell you that problems are usually on both sides. Is he really pathologically insecure (and he might be, of course) or are you doing something you're unaware of to set him off:
- are you suddenly buying new, sexy clothes and wearing them to work, e.g. "for other people" but slouching around at home in your comfy sweats?
- are you secretive about your weight loss and eating habits? I am, I grew up getting picked on by my skinny family, I just can't bear to talk about weight/food with anyone face-to-face. Maybe you think he's just not intersted?
- are you uncomfortable with the difference between your new weight and your old body image, and acting awkward? Are you secretly glad he's an excuse to return to your "comfort zone"
- is he similarly unware of how he's acting? My hubby keeps bringing home ice-cream, because he forgets it's not lo-carb, or he forgets that I am, or something. But it's not malice or sabotage, it's just absentmindedness.
- are all of these things completely off the mark, and I'm just a strange crackpot out there in cyber-cyber-land?