I’m back. I haven’t posted much here in the last few months, because I am just coming off a relapse that lasted several months. I wanted to write about my experiences, both to reinforce my own recovery and maybe to help someone else who might be going through some rough patches. This post is kind of long, so I thank you for bearing with me. I started Atkins on 7/8/02 and for the first six months did very well, losing around 60 lbs. Around the first of the year I started experimenting with low carb recipes. I went kind of “nuts” buying unsweetened baking chocolate and cocoa, nuts, almond flour, low carb baking mix, etc. I started experimenting with low carb cookies, candies and cheesecakes. I baked a lot of Atkins muffins. I ate a lot of bars. While my carb count generally hovered around 35/day, my calories went up from an average of 1300-1500 to 1800-2000. My weight loss stalled and then I slowly started gaining. At first, I just coasted, thinking the weight would start coming off again. After all, other people were losing on 1800 calories per day! I was really in denial. From January to April, I only lost an additional 8 lbs. I started to get discouraged. I started to be less and less vigilant with my food plan. I started to eat a high-carb item here and there, not enough to totally blow everything, but just enough to play games with my mind and my body. The weight started creeping up. My clothes started to get tight. Then my clothes no longer fit. When I went to the doctor in early October, I found myself 30 lbs heavier, my blood pressure was high, my blood work was scary. And I was no longer feeling good. The hives I used to suffer from came back. My mood was terrible. I was grumpy and depressed. I stopped taking my supplements. I stopped exercising. I started to get that familiar hopeless feeling that being overweight always gave me. And worst of all, I was fighting food cravings all the time. The monster had returned! The pastry tray at work I would have no trouble passing by last year was tormenting me. It was a constant battle that I started to lose with more and more frequency. It was awful. My lowest point was probably when I ate a whole loaf of fruit cake at my mom's house one night! I knew if I didn’t take decisive action soon, I would regain all my weight and be right back where I was before. Thankfully, the doctor’s visit was a huge wake-up call for me. I knew I needed to rededicate myself to Atkins. I started back on track the beginning of this month. I feel great. My hives went away. I am wearing a dress today that didn’t fit me last month, so although I haven’t weighed myself, I know I am losing the weight I gained. My goal is to be lighter than my posted forum weight of 182 by Christmas, which would mean I’ve lost all the weight I’ve gained during the past few months.

What have I learned during this past year? First of all, I cannot afford to relax my vigilance at all. There are just some things I have to stay away from. I can’t bake low-carb sweets, at least not for now. I have to limit my calories. I have to stay away from the bars, the low carb chocolate, excess cheese and nuts. I have to stick to Atkins to the letter. I can’t allow myself deviations. I can’t handle it. I have to take my supplements. I have to work in more exercise. If I stick to Atkins, my food cravings will be under control. Indeed, I won’t have any. My mood will be on an even keel. I will be healthier. I will feel better and in control. I won’t be hungry all the time. I have to remember that everyone is different. Just because some people can eat low carb at 2000 calories a day and lose weight, doesn’t mean I can. I have to do what works for me.

I am very grateful that I was able to catch myself before I gained all my weight plus back. I have a ways to go till I lose the weight I gained, and till I get to my short-term and long-term goals, but I am determined to hold fast to the low carb lifestyle till I get there, and also beyond there. I just feel so much better when I do! Thanks for listening.

MayLisa