Monika: FAP! I love it!! This works for me, too, maybe because it makes me feel like it was all MY idea instead of somebody else's. I just move the way I want to. And thanks for posting your exercise "playlist." I'll probably be checking out some of these bands and their music. But just this morning I tried something new! -- and I just have to share, in case it may work for someone else. A few days ago I put a TV w/cable in my bedroom, and this morning instead of music I turned on CNN. I know, watching the news doesn't seem like it would be conducive to exercise, but I was already accustomed to "flailing" so I didn't have to think about that - I just watched TV and the time flew. 24 minutes went by before I even looked at the clock. Some mornings I won't be in any mood for the news, and then I'll put on my headphones and listen to music. Now I have a choice. These little personal breakthroughs are so satisfying, aren't they? We each have to find our own way.

Yes! Yes! I want to join the Halloween Candy Challenge! I've always loved Halloween (both as a kid and as an adult) and I don't want to skip it, either. But I have to start NOW, because, although I didn't do this last year, in previous years I have purchased the candy, eaten it all, then had to purchase more in time for Halloween. I'm in a better place this year, and so in no real danger of scarfing all the candy ahead of time, but still, there are all the store displays, TV commercials, etc. Old habits die hard, so I have to start mentally preparing myself now.

I sure do know what Monika means about slow, steady sabotage chipping away at your resolve. The little things well-meaning people do. Someone makes you a good dinner and says "Take two pork chops, they won't be as good tomorrow," or they buy too much of something and give it to you, saying "This will just go bad if you don't help me eat it." The first few times someone does this you can't really blame them, because unless they've been overweight themselves, they can't understand where you're coming from. But if I let them know that makes me unhappy, and they keep doing it, that tells me they are insecure, either about themselves, or me, or both. Didn't someone just say this? Yes, JstPeachi - well put, too.

Monika, I feel for you and your circle of Size Acceptance friends. You've mentioned this situation before. I'm hoping you can bring your friends around to understand that even if you are able to improve your health and lose weight, you are still you. I believe that any intelligent person who has ever been very overweight has a certain "knowledge" that will be with them all their lives. Your friends have to understand that you will always have that in common with them. Maybe they haven't thought about it much, and expect that if you become thinner you will look at the world, and them, through a thin person's eyes. But you never will. Some people lose weight and then sort of pretend it never happened - that they had never been overweight in the first place, and end up paying for that. But I think I know you well enough to say you won't delude yourself that way, so your friends have nothing to worry about. And please gently let them know that carefully watching what you eat, and exercising daily, is in no way "extreme."