Hey Neener...

I can relate totally. I remeber when my day depended upon the type of attention I received, especially in college and even beyond that. I can remeber going out w/ my girlfriends, and depending on how much attention I got..which could be extremly a lot or practically nothing, I would let this be the judge of how I felt I looked. I know now looking back how totally ridiculous that sounds, but for me that was real life.

I couldn't tell you how many times I was so disgusted at me after I went out b/c no one ever looked my way or only looked my way to see who was beside me. I was not in control of me, everyone else was and sometimes I still catch myself going back to my old ways.

Even though I am half way there, a lot of mornings sometimes I wake up and think that I am just beginning. I struggle with this issue many times. So I can really relate to you and your image.

All I can do is take it day by day. I have come to the realization that for each day that I can wake up there is something special in that. And for each day that I can go to sleep and realize that I am doing something that benefits "me" and not "everyone else", I am a step closer to being me.

<<<<HUGS>>> for everyone!!! It is a constant battle, and I can't lie and say it is not, but my solace lies in knowing that for once in my LIFE, I want to be all about ME.