I don't know what I'm getting out of being big. There are too many possible causes, IMO. Between a few personal failures, and an abusive marriage, and now the stresses of being a single Mom of two, one with a disability..I see it more as a side-effect of medicating myself with food. I used to really be a "victim" and expected less of myself because I was fat. Nothing was ever really MY fault, you know! I think that's even why I chose losers to date...whatever went wrong was THEM, and I didn't have to take a hard look at mySELF.

I'm waking up now, taking charge and taking responsibility. I'm not hiding anymore, and I think that's the mindset I have to have to do this!