Well, I think it's natural to want to talk to people who understand your problems because they're in the same boat. TDC is my favorite place for that reason. We're all on a continuum, though; 100 lbs is an arbitrary number. My lifetime high weight was 309, so I can't fully appreciate the problems of someone at 400 or 500. But I do have an inkling.

I have felt the same annoyance, Monika, when someone at or below my goal weight complains about trying to lose a few pounds. And I'm not even talking about people made cruel by their own lack of self-esteem, or about the Holden Caulfields of the world, who pick their friends at least in part because they feel sorry for them. I mean just ordinary, good people. I don't think my (or your) annoyance stems from reverse-sizism but rather from a desire to be understood, and a desire not to be hurt.

A big part of the problem may have to do with:

1) perspective. Most TDCers remember how they felt before they gained 100+ pounds - in retrospect, that felt pretty darned good, didn't it? - and we would love to just feel that way again. Ten or twenty pounds one way or the other means little to us. We can't fully appreciate the point of view of a teenager who may be well under 200 lbs. but still truly feels "huge," and everyone around her is telling her she is "huge," and her heartache is real.

and with 2) perception. Setting health considerations aside for the moment, there are some fortunate people who can be overweight without being psychologically hurt by it. With their self-esteem intact, they carry it off; they perceive themselves as attractive (and they are!) They don't see themselves as fat, so they don't act fat. Others (I am one) are bothered by their weight all their lives. Looking back, I can see that at times I perceived myself as "fat" when I shouldn't have. All causes for this perception aside, you don't have to be 100 lbs overweight to honestly consider yourself an utter disaster Anorexics are an extreme example, but again, we're all on a continuum.