What an interesting--and emotionally fraught--topic.

As you can see from my stats, I began this WOE with over 100 pounds to lose, and by most insurance charts I still have 100 pounds to lose, since I am only 5' tall. I have been overweight all my life. I started thinking seriously about numbers on the scale when I was in junior high, had reached my full height (such as it is), and weighed 140, a weight that was read out to the whole class when we were communally weighed by the nurse. Most of the other girls were around my height at the time and were around 95-100 pounds.

As the years went by, I thought of myself as having about 50 pounds to lose. This seemed like a huge amount. Occasionally I dieted to 125 or so, during my high school and college years. Later on, after I'd had two children, I seemed to stay around 170-180. I still thought of myself as having 50 pounds to lose, since 100 no longer seemed like a realistic goal.

Somehow in my 40's my weight went over 200, then 220 started to be what I expected to see on the scale. I begain to realize I was now close to 100 pounds overweight, the amount often mentioned in discussions of gastric bypass. Yet it is still, even NOW, hard for me to ackowledge that I should lose over 100 pounds. I certainly have never said it outside this board. My starting weight here, 255, is comparable to a weight over 300 for taller people. I was beginning to have trouble fitting in airline seats, theater seats, and some flexibility issues such as putting on shoes and socks comfortably. I especially noticed these problems when my weight went from 220 to 250 over a relatively short time (possibly related to approaching menopause?).

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say here, except that it relates to the issue of whether one feels psychologically identified with the TDC. I think my "head" is still in the "I need to lose 50 pounds" space, because that's where I lived for so long.

Diane