Introducing: The Atkins Man

Michele Cohen

POSTED: 4:36 p.m. EDT September 3, 2003
UPDATED: 10:37 a.m. EDT September 4, 2003

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The Atkins man was once a rare species -- looked on as bizarre, irrational and insanely unhealthy. But today, he is among good company.

It seems every person who has tried a diet and failed is wooed by the siren call of Mr. Atkins "Eat meat, cheese, butter, and eggs and watch the fat melt away."

Basically, Atkins figured out that the body first uses carbohydrates, before burning fat. So, nix the carbs and you're only burning fat.

The idea isn't new. Many physical trainers tout low-carb, high-protein foods for their ability to help build muscle. And historically, cultures that subside primarily on high protein foods have less incidence of obesity.

Still, I couldn't believe my eyes as the maid of honor in my wedding shrank nearly 10 dress sizes. Strangers stare at my now-slim mother. And my fiance lost 20 pounds on this artery-clogging diet.

Then, the biggest jaw-dropper yet: a study in the New England Journal of Medicine pitted the Atkins diet against more traditional low-fat diets and found the folks on the Atkins program lost twice as much weight AND had lower cholesterol levels.

Weight loss seemed to level off after the first six months, according to the study.

So now, I have no reason to complain about the rotating menu at home ... chicken, fish, beef, chicken, fish, beef. My Atkins man is satisfied with the basics... the problem is, I'm not. And those of you who cook for someone on the Atkins diet knows it sucks all the fun out of dinner.

But it's not only the cooking, the eating is odd, too. My Atkins man engages in some strange behavior. He picks the corn kernels out of his taco salad, eats a hamburger with a fork and knife, and denies any dessert unless it's made with sugar substitute and without flour. He usually makes himself a snack of Cool Whip and peanut butter. My Atkins man smears full-fat mayo on his steak and pours ranch dressing on everything else.

His strange habits are not just limited to food. The Atkins man drinks a lot of water. He is always thirsty because he eats so many salty foods. You can usually pick out an Atkins person in a crowd: he's the one shifting his weight from leg to leg because he has to use a restroom.

A small price to pay for a large weight loss.

And, since I'm trying to look presentable for my upcoming wedding, I decided to try the diet myself. As a breakfast lover, my first obstacle was cereal and milk. Both contain carbs. So I substitute full fiber flakes for cereal, and heavy cream for milk. It was not the same.

Second challenge: chocolate. Several low-carb companies make good chocolate bars without the sugar and carbs, and you can eat as many of them as you want. The only problem, they'll send you running to the bathroom.

I survived week one on cheese, meat, blueberries and faux chocolate bars (yes, stand back!).

My word of wisdom to those of you who may want to attempt this diet: invest in some mint gum. Stinky, smelly breath is an unfortunate side effect of the Atkins diet.

After a week, I started to feel more toned ... a little less flabby. The low-carb diet isn't something I expect to stay on for a long time. As my mother always says, if God wanted us to be Atkins men and women, he wouldn't have invented pizza, brownies or french fries.