When I lost my weight the first time and got to where I wanted to be, in my mind, I could take a lot of restrictions off of myself. And that is where it all went downhill. It started by me just saying well maybe I will just eat right 2 meals, and have a free meal. Then later on I was having 2 free meals a day, then for some odd reason, when I looked up from my face buried in a bag with double burger, super sized fries, and a large coke, I had gained 20 lbs. So I thought, okay well I will just cut those 2 meals to one, but you know what my mind did, it laughed, and I chuckled w/ it saying oh 20 lbs is not that bad really. I just won't let it get out of hand. I won't go over that...Needless to say 70 lbs later, I looked in the mirror, and I cried until my head hurt. How could I have been so so CRUEL to MYSELF. So cruel to my body to where I couldn't stand for more than 5 minutes w/ back pains, not being able to play w/ my son b/c his mommy couldn't keep up w/ him. To not recognizing myself in the mirror, in pictures, or anywhere I happen to catch a glimpse of myself.

So in January, I decided to handle my issues and not let my issues handle me. I haven't looked back since. Not to say I have not had my slips, but instead of letting a slip allow me to lose grip on myself, I just hold on even stronger b/c I know that it is me who is ultimately is in control of what I do.