"Because of my affection for you, I affect a slight affect to effect an effective effect, to the effect that it could affect those who have ineffective grammar, in effect, to effectively begin using 'affect' and 'effect' correctly."

Meaning:

"Because I love you, I feign a slight emotional need to bring about a solid change that in substance could influence those who have confused grammar, as a result, to efficiently begin using 'affect' and 'effect' correctly."