I agree with the original poster.

I can choose to eat better or not, and have better hours, days, weeks, or months. I can choose to lose or stay at the same weight, just as I (subconsciously) chose to gain for the last four years.

The "cheating" thing makes me feel defensive and bad, and plays to my own neuroses about eating. My mother used to sneak eat ALL the time. She had food hidden all over the house. She was constantly pointing out to me that she was "starving herself" so she deserved this: piece of ham, piece of cake, extra cookie, etc. She ate in the car, encouraging me to join her, so there would be no evidence by the time we got home from the grocery store, etc.

I had lunch with someone the other day, and I had a really good atkins meal, with one bite of chocolate. She said, "I didn't see anything." She meant that she wouldn't tell anybody (including my DH we were about to see), and she wouldn't harp after me. I told her it doesn't matter if you TELL on me or not. My growing big butt will tell on me. My carb intake was still low for the day, and even if it wasn't, it's me that it hurts. If I eat the wrong thing (I almost said cheat) the worst thing is that the cravings come back.

As my DH and I work on this WOL/WOE together, we've noticed that there are sorts of different reasons/neuroses/justifications that throw us off. For him, he needs to call it cheating, to remind himself to get back on. For me, if it's called cheating I just want to pack it all in and give up.

This weight thing/ eating thing is just so personal. Whatever psychs you up and doesn't psych you out is what counts.