It is a strong person who can live as you have and come out the other end. This WOE is a peice of cake (pun intended) compared to what you have described. Remember, the horses that are pulling the cart (your health and weight journey) don't always walk in a straight line. If you "go back for more information" learn what you can and carry on. The only thing that will stop you is you. Your past is just your past, not your future. You can do this thing!