does anyone ever ponder the existence of life?

i will probly spend the rest of my life depriving myself of foods i love in order to get married and a good job and not be critizied.
on the other hand i could eat all the foods i love and as much as i wanted, then i'd be obese never have another boyfriend, no friends, a shit job and be criticized (lets face it everything is about how you look in todays society)
i will spend the rest of my life struggling to get through uni, get a good job finding the right man, and be in dept from a car or a house.
why is life so hard? sometimes i wish i didn't have to do this, i find it really difficult to even talk to people they look at me and think i'm some bimbo/bitch just because of how i look. this really frustrates me and i just want to give up.
i hate the way i look and everyone always stares at me, this isn't a subconcious fear, people really do always stare at me and i hate going out i hate people looking at me and judging me.
does anyone else have this problem?