i know my posts here have been pretty spuratic
but then again so have my workouts.

I've been trying to live actively and also decided that I'd only record the structured gym type workouts since my goal is to get to the gym 5X a week. This may have been a mistake....
I'm better with exercise when i know I've already done some- then i want to do more (kinda like 'gee it wasn't that bad- i could even go another round!) and when i really get going can do yoga, cardio, and weightlifting and still be more active then usual afterwards. I just have to erase that old tape in my head playing over and over that exercise is bad cause when i exercise I will always be in pain later.
I really overtrained in my previous attempts at completeing a BFL challenge. I'd get lobster red and hold my breathe and really strain! now I concentrate on form (not the number of pounds) and on breathing and truly feeling that muscle move reawakening it to do what it was meant to do. it's become an almost spiritual experience now and the slight soreness that comes after is easily mended with a little cytovol (muscle recovery supplement from EAS). And with the scale's numbers dropping like a stone this is obviously working for me. (even if I get that tinge of guilt that I can't possibily be working hard enough if i'm not constantly pushing myself to do heavier than last time).

Not perfection- Progress is the key!