Fri, Jul-25-03, 15:36
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Senior Member
Posts: 2,154
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Plan: Moderate Carb...
Stats: 235/195/140
BF:HELP!!!
Progress: 42%
Location: Ohio
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Hate My Fat...very Reclusive Too...
Quote:
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Originally Posted by asugar
A year and a half ago when I was 26 pounds heavier than I am now, I used to go grocery shopping in the middle of the night so that nobody I knew would see me. In the daytime, I would get into my car in the attached garage and make sure the garage door was closed before I got out of the car when I returned because I didn't want my neighbors to see me. I avoided all social situations and was very reclusive because I was so ashamed of being fat. At my current weight, I am no longer nearly as depressed as I was but I am still not comfortable with myself at this weight. I would love to be able to buy an outfit because I really like it and not because it's slimming. I know I have come a long way because a year and a half ago, when I made a Wal-mart run at 3 AM, if I could find something that would fit around me, that's what I bought. I We shouldn't allow our emotional state to be ruled by our weight, but society has given us a heavy burden by equating being fat to somehow being immoral. The main reason I want to lose weight is because I don't ever want to be as depressed as I was when I was 26 pounds heavier.
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Hey sugar...I am amazed at your progress... I am feeling rather down today... Fat is everywhere..never thought I would have flabby fat arms...flabby huge waist line...flabby fat thighs... It is really difficult and I am extremely reclusive...and deeply depressed... Yesterday was a friend's birthday and I had a slice of cheesecake, but had a turkey rollup behind it so I didn't get any jitters.... First time off plan since I started...back on today though... It's difficult because somehow I thought that I was down a size but I'm not.... I'm only 5'3 so 198 pounds is a whole lot of weight and I just feel sick about it... I try to keep my mind occupied with other things but it is difficult not to look in the mirror and wonder who the heck is staring back and you...
I think I can do this....I'm going to try to take out some of the unnecessary fat that I've been eating and only eat good fats... Hopefully that will help speed up the weight loss... It's hell being overweight and invisible...particularly when at one time you were rather cute lol... It's difficult to see the shock in people's eyes when they do see me, if they haven't seen me for a while... I rarely go out at all except when I think nooone's in the stores... It has taken it's toll on my 7 year old, she has become very cynical with me and wonders constantly why I don't participate in things...
Anyway, thanks all for the motivation....hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow... |