Whew. This is a tough subject. It's something I think about, often... probably every day.

I WAS that kid, the one who didn't want to undress in front of the other kids during PE. And since both my husband and I are not exactly skinny, I want to make sure that my kids get the best chance they possibly can. So I'm going to offer up some of my thoughts, but since I am still only a Beginner Parent (meaning my kids are ~2&4), take it for what it's worth: a good intention.

By the time I reached my teenage years, let's say age 12, I was already pretty seriously overweight. My parents were always slender, and now I understand that this was due to their consumption of illegal drugs. This makes my circumstance (ie, depression) different from your son's, in that I did not have such a loving, concerned parent. But regardless, I would have given anything, at the time, for the knowledge and insight that I have now, just to lose the weight. So my first thought is, let your son read the books you are reading, himself, so he is not getting his information from The Parent. Remember how much YOU listened to your parents?

Next, I remember that eating was one of my chiefest sources of pleasure. I grew up very isolated from my peers, probably because I was working so hard to hide my parents' activities from my schoolmates... but I think it is very hard for teenagers to feel isolated for even the simplest reasons, like not fitting in. It's part of that struggle to discover one's own identity and probably a very important one, but I'd draw a line when it starts to cause problems that might end up in life-long ill health. And that is exactly what you intend to do, whether you realise it outright or not.

Is there anything that your son likes to do that doesn't involve food? Skateboarding, rollerblading? Keeping fish? When I started my first LC diet at age 14 (barely knowing what it really was, and having NO idea who Atkins was), I remember very clearly having to distract myself from wanting to eat. My usual activity was to read fiction with a pile of snacks nearby (Saltines were my favorite!). I was fortunate in starting that diet: we were moving, and I was changing schools, which gave me a temporary opportunity to reinvent myself. I lost 30lbs over the summer, so I started sports in the fall. Getting into shape was hard at first, but once I did, I did my best to stay there for almost a decade. The internet was my downfall, but that's another story. *grin*

I'm a little distracted by my kids, so I hope I remembered to say everything that I thought when I initially read your post. One last thing: I would have given ANYTHING to have a parent like you. Of course, I say this in retrospect, because I am 100% certain that I would have had the same reaction to you that you describe of your son.

Even at age 4, my son does not celebrate my 'Love' when I refuse to give him a second bowl of cereal for breakfast. Nor does my daughter, and they are DOING IT RIGHT NOW!

Hope this helps!

Erin Ptacek