....i'm seeing my doctor tomorrow...i'm so discouraged that i'm feeling depression kicking in...i really did have a great figure and a lot of self-confidence before this weight gain...i left it go because getting sober menat saving my life...there's no way i'll go back to the way i was...but this is also suicide...i've gained SO much weight, and i'm having such a terribly hard time trying to lose...my cholerterol is at danger levels and i have coronary heart disease...it's like, if my lifestyle doesn't do me in, eating will...i'm between a rock and an hard place...damned if i do and damned if i don't...i'm tired...i have a possible new career in hollywood as an anthropology consultant waiting for me...i can fill you all in when i know more...but i don't even know if i can keep up the pace! this sucks, and i'm really feeling down right now...thanks for being a shoulder board, so to speak...