Old Way: "I'm almost out of food...Time to get some more Pasta and Bread."

New Way: "I'm almost out of food...Time to get some more steak, vegetables, catfish, shrimp, REAL bacon bits, eggs, cheese, and olive/canola oil."

Old Way: "I need something quick to eat...I'll throw some bread in the toaster."

New Way: "I need something quick to eat...I'll grab some lettuce, shredded cheese, bacon bits, and salad shrimp."

Old Way: "Can I get another basket of bread while I wait ???"
New Way: "Before the waitress can ask: "No bread, thanks"

Old Way: "Damn Heartburn !!!"
New Way: "Heartburn ??? Geez, I can't even remember what it felt like"

Old Way: Fall asleep at "And today's farm report..."
New Way: Fall asleep at "your host Conan O'Brien"