Different kids will react differently to restrictions such as that and I think a lot does depend on how it is presented to the child and whether it is applied fairly and evenly to everyone in the home.
With my girls I don't tell them that foods are "good" or "bad"...it's more an issue of "good fuel" for their bodies or "junky fuel". Just as cars run better on the right fuel, so do bodies and that's an analogy that they understand.

Lisa, I totally agree. That situation must have been awful for you! Especially about the brother eating things you were denied. I'm sure that sort of thing could have some long-lasting effects!

As I said in an earlier post, even in our super-healthy family we do not make a big deal about sugar and white flour being "bad." We just emphasize what you DO eat to be healthy, and what sort of things make you feel yucky if you eat too much of them.

Also my homemade stuff is so much yummier, everyone I know would prefer homemade cinnamon rolls (Wheat flour, real butter, cinnamon, maple syrup) to any fluff food available. So I think in our case its more what we CAN have, what foods we love to eat, than about deprivation or things not being allowed. Our kids think they eat abundantly. At least so far, my husband and kids would never like to trade their 3 squares for convenience foods. I do not think it would all be so rosy if their diet was spare or monotonous. Also our nutrition-teaching is done with smiles and lowkey attitudes, which maybe helps.

Just my 2 cents, and I agree with all you said about the effect on children when their food becomes a source of stress