"I'm sorry - I'm a wide-arse." LOL

or

"NO WAY!!! ARE YOU ON CRACK??!??"

Just kidding...

I think at this point, any name we come up with will be met with a blank stare and will involve a long and unavoidably drawn out explanation of what in heaven's name we are doing calling ourselves anything when all we really are is just plain crazy for turning down their delicious homemade chocolate cream mousse ice cream cake and baked potatoes with toast and rice pudding... and a spoonful of sugar.

But I'm all for it!