I too used to sneak food. I remember when I was 7 or 8 my mom bought a watermelon but told me I couldn't have any (she was saving it for dessert on the weekend I think). Anyways, I went and cut a very thin slice and took it to my bedroom. I ate a little bit but felt so guilty I hid it in my closet. To make a long story short, it sat in there for months, eventually drying out. It wasn't until we moved into our new house 3 or 4 months later that I snuck the plate out of my room and washed it as fast as I could to hide my shame.

I used to pride myself on being able to eat as much as my 6'3" father (who weighed 250-260) when I was 8, I used to offer to do the dishes so I could finish the food leftover in the serving bowls. I used to get so ANGRY with my mom when she'd try and control my food intake. I had allowance and was always buying chips, chocolate bars and candy at the local store. I weighed 105 pounds when I started Grade 4. I weighed 289 when I graduated high school. I was bulimic in high school and afterward, even wound up in the hospital because I couldn't stop throwing up. They NEVER ASKED if I was doing it to myself!

I vowed if I ever reached 300 pounds that I would kill myself. That weight came and went but at that point I just didn't care anymore. Then one day, I was watching Oprah of all things. She had the Dr's Heller on (CAD gurus) and what they said made sense. I bought the book and carb counters, etc. It worked for a while, but then the additive side of me kept turning the "reward meal" into a one hour free for all binge. Bulimia returned. I stopped CAD. I joined this forum on June 25, 2002, once again attempting CAD. Failing again, same thing as before. I decided to try Atkins, but hadn't purchased the book. Had lots of energy, was feeling really good, but due to lack of commitment to myself it didn't work.

Friday, April 25, 2003 I was channel surfing and who's on Larry King Live? Dr. Atkin's himself. I believe in signs so I stopped surfing and started watching. I was saddened to see he'd passed away. I made a commitment to myself that night to start Atkin's again on Saturday morning. I got up, drove to the city, toldmy mom my intentions and she gave me steak for brekkie (god how I love that woman, love dad too!) I went and bought the DANDR for myself. I bought 2 pairs of new shoes and a bunch of LC groceries. Sunday I went to the gym for the first time in weeks andhave been going ever since.

So here I'm finished my third week of Induction. The scale hasn't budged for a few days and I'm not worrying anymore. I know this WOE works and I'm not going to let it get me down. I feel better, I breathe easier, I perform my job better, I spend more quality time with my kids...all things I couldn't do before because I was always sluggish and tired. I started tearing up when I was reading your posts because I know I've found a place where I belong, where I'm accepted, where I'm understood. I'm grateful each and every day for the fellowship, strength and encouragement I receive from all of you. Thank you for helping me live.

Love,

Nicole