I agree with all your woes regarding social gatherings. It's incredible how much the people around you can negatively affect your will power.

When I was living alone in residence at school, I did amazing. I filled my fridge with only the foods I could eat. I lost 127 pounds in 1 year! Then I met my girlfriend (who weighs 98 pounds), and we would go out a lot, and she loved to cook as well. I started thinking "I lost all this weight to become a 'normal' person, I should be able to enjoy eating like a normal person every once in a while". It's so hard when you're wandering around downtown in the summer and everyone has an ice cream cone, and all you have is a bottle of water. It's a real drag.

But then I got into this really dangerous mind-set - "If I'm going to have an ice cream cone, I'm going to throw my system off and I probably won't lose any weight for the rest of the week. So I might as well eat AS MUCH bad stuff as I want, and start fresh tomorrow." So I ended up having these total binge days where I'd eat, literally:

5 or 6 chocolate chip pancakes with syrup and chocolate milk
super-sized double big mac meal with a medium chocolate shake
some kind of chocolate bar (or 2)
chinese buffet (like, 10 chicken balls and a truck load of rice)
another chocolate snack (most likely a mini-tub of ice cream)
lots of regular pepsi
a piece (or 2) of super-rich chocolate cheesecake

plus I'd root through the cupboards and eat any carbs I could find, from pop tarts, to honeycomb cereal (usually 3 or 4 bowls at a time!). Nothing was safe!

I'd be absolutely stuffed the entire day, and I'd swell up like a balloon for three days until all the crap went out of my system. And of course, I'd be 3 pounds up from previous.

After about 2 years of doing this, I'm up 45 pounds. I'm at 243 from an original 325, but my lowest was 198.

Anyway, the whole point of this is, I know now that being overweight is like being an alcoholic. The word "moderation" is not in my vocabulary. I'm either strictly controlled or completely out of control. I don't know how you guys are with food, but for me it's a total psychological, physical addiction. I'm willing to destroy myself with food!

If anyone else feels like this, let me know, because I'm tired of feeling like the only pig in this world.

Wow, I went completely off-topic. Anyway, my girlfriend is now making a lot of sacrifices to help me stay on this diet. I know that anything I put in my mouth is MY responsibility, but it helps having someone around who supports you.

It's hard to resist when someone is actually forcing you to eat something that you know is delicious - like they're giving you permission or something. "oh, you can have just a bit!"

ahhhh!

fight the power. That's all I'm going to say. I'm getting to 190 this time, even if it means offending people by not eating their carb-laden treats. Even if it means LEAVING the situation. If they're really friends, they'll understand.