Hi,,

In the last few weeks I have realized that I am in control. Now this may suprise some who say "How come you didnt already know this". But I have found out that finally I am controlling the food, it isnt controlling me. And it isnt my friend. I have always, as long as I can remember been controlled by food. Even as a child I can remember trying to think of ways to sneak food or to eat more. I feel ashamed telling that because how is it possible that a child can be out of control? But as I have started to think of my weight and what lead to it as a medical condition I see that I have always been a carb addict, even from early childhood. I could never get enough candy or sweets, I began hiding my food consumption as soon as I realized (as a young teenager) that it was "shameful" But I have seen in the last few weeks that I am no longer turning to food for comfort, I am able to pass on HC foods with no regrets or feelings of deprivation. It is almost a euphoric feeling. This must be what people who dont have an "eating" disorder feel like. Food is no longer something I think about that much. Sure, I plan meals, but when I get up in the morning my first thought isnt what am I going to eat, now its what am I going to do today or what workout am I going to do. I dont wait for my DH to fall asleep so I can go downstairs and eat on the sly. I am free, I am free, I am free...............and I am never going back to being a prisoner to food. I always wanted to know what it feels like to be skinny and now I know...now the outside has to catch up with the inside.