Talking is good lol I am the same way don't worry.I was a cna in florida! I worked at the Emerald Coast Center in Ft.Walton it off of eglin parkway!Don't worry that no one would want to hire you,There are plentyof ppl bigger then you with jobs but I do understand your feelings.We pretty much started at the same weight and have the same goal!I gained 80lbs with my son! and lost maybe 35 right at the beginning then hung on to the rest . I can't use him as an excuse anymore, He is almost 2!This is funny but I was also around a size 11/12.Im amazed by how much we have in common. I cant wait until we are both that size again. This way of life works, My parents have both lost a huge amount of weight and have maintained it! I wish I would of started sooner!